To the first time kayaker: You’re going to be ok…
I remember what it felt like the first time I went kayaking.
It was on the Tennessee River and I had never been in a kayak in my life.
While I grew up in an “outdoorsy” family, we mostly went hunting so all activity was revolved around that aspect of being outside. At the time Matt (my now husband) and I were just beginning to date and this was the first time we had gone on a trip together. We were trying to find some things to do that would be outdoors and exciting. We found an event off AirBnb for guided kayak tours on the river. Since we didn’t plan anything, we liked that we could go and they provided all the equipment. The time was at sunset so we also thought it could end up being pretty romantic.
I was pretty nervous since the only boats I had ever been on were my dad and grandpa’s bass boats and some pontoon boats we had rented in the past for bass fishing. I wasn’t sure how shaky it was going to be, if I was just going to get in and immediately fall out— basically looking like an idiot in front of this guy that I had come to think of my possible future husband.
We showed up at the assigned launch time and met our guide. She was a nice young girl, probably in her 20’s. I wish I could remember the guide service, or at least her name, because this experience ended up changing my life.
Matt decided he was going to try paddle boarding since he had never tried and was very familiar with kayaking because of his family upbringing. I chose a red sit-in kayak. I had no idea what paddle to get or what length it should be, but Matt and the guide steered me in the right direction.
It started raining and thundering so we had to wait to get started. For a while it looked like we might not be able to go. After 45 minutes of sitting with our guide at a covered picnic table it had stopped raining and no thunder during that time so we were clear for launch.
I don’t remember anything about getting in the boat or the launch itself. I just remember the first time I put the paddle in the water and pushed it behind me.
It launched me forward and I got that little feeling in your heart, like when a rollercoaster starts moving. It wasn’t fear it was like what I imagine flying feels like. My heart started beating faster and I found myself smiling. This may seem so insignificant but my entire life I have struggled with depression and anxiety. If you have never experienced depression, there’s a sense of finding it very hard to find joy in simple activities or the anticipation of everything being “not enough” to move you out of your mood.
Kayaking had hit different. I immediately felt a joy I hadn’t been able to capture in such a long time.
We explored downstream on the Tennessee River at sunset. Our guide didn’t talk much but answered questions we asked about the area. We laughed and smiled. Matt fell off his paddleboard after trying to be too confident.
I think our tour was about two hours and we even got to get out and swing on a rope swing set up along the shoreline of the river.
I felt like I had found the thing that was going to pull me out of all those dark places. Finally.
I never fell out. All my fears and “I can’t do this” disappeared. I had finally found something that I could be passionate about, something that I could focus on. Something I could do and have fun.
Seven years later, I own Driftwood Paddling Tours and I get to take people on amazing paddling adventures as their guide. I get to create an opportunity for people to feel confident in themselves and help them swipe away the fears they feel. I get to inspire others to have the experience I had and I thank God everyday that I didn’t give up and leave when it started raining.
If this has inspired you as a first-time kayaker I would love to show you around sometime and I can assure you… you’re going to be ok.
Best,
Amanda (a very grateful guide)
